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Clashes among Family Members
The Prophet of Islam (SAW) says: “The Muslim man after Islam,
didn’t achieve any extra advantage over his wife; a wife who
when her husband looks upon her feels cheerful, follows her
husband’s instructions and in his absence, protects her chastity
and her husband’s property.” (“Wasail-ash Shi’a”, vol. 14, p.
23)
The family has always been one of the most valuable spiritual
institutions of the society. In the foundation of social life,
the family has been the focal point and putting aside the
responsibilities related to the giving birth to and rearing of
children which results in the continuation and perpetuity of
mankind. Other responsibilities for example, the Kid's Health
and endorsing of societal awareness of an individual are also
included. Family is an elite system which gives the individual a
sense of belonging and being. This family system belongs to that
group of systems, which have remained existent throughout
history, and there are two main reasons for this:
1) The family environment secures the basic needs of a society
and shoulders the responsibility of making individuals socially
aware
2) The family is a strong and influential center, which brings
about the feeling of closeness and emotional support in
individuals. The family is also a medium, which plays an
important role in the transfer of values, customs, and cultural
heritage of the society.
Family Disputes:
Family disorders have many aspects, which may eventually lead to
separation or divorce. One of the basic reasons for divorce is
unwarranted expectations, which the two parties have of one
another. These expectations are related to the status of the two
parties (i.e. husband and wife) in the society, sexual
relations, whether one or both of the spouse are renown,
physical health, financial security and the role that both the
man and woman plays in the marriage.
At the same time, it should be mentioned here that the above
expectations may be very influential in the strengthening of the
family foundation. For example, in the present society, it can
be seen that before marriage the couple believes that as long as
their love for one another doesn’t decrease, nothing can break
the bond that exists between them. But after the marriage, they
quickly come to the realization that the love and interest that
was abundant in their marriage, has lost some of its color, or
disappeared completely and in order to solve their family
problems, they are forced to use more practical methods.
In the same way, children whose parents are not happy in their
marriages but remain living together, become affected by the
family disputes, which are a result of the relationship of the
parents.
How to Prevent Family Disorders
In order to prevent family disorders and undesirable life
occurrences, young married men and women need to keep certain
points in mind and practice them in their lives; as below:
1) One of the basic points for successful family life is
self-knowledge. Every man and woman has certain capabilities and
limitations, which they need to discover within themselves. The
husband and wife, who are clearly aware of their good and bad
points and the reality of their personalities, will have fewer
disputes in their family lives. Then it is necessary that the
husband and wife accept one another and love one another with
all his/her faults and finer points.
2) The husband and wife should respect one another and should
not do anything to cause disrespect or hate in the other party.
Married couples should hold themselves and their spouse in high
regard and should be aware that if they want or like their
spouse to be or act according to their own opinions, it is only
going to be a waste of time and effort. People are all
different. Married couples should accept one another as they
are, and not try to compare one another to others, because this
only causes psychological injury to themselves.
3) Married couples should try in their domestic lives to foster
their talents. Couples can become acquainted with their
particular talents in various fields, for example, sports,
physical expertise, interest in study, and other fields. The
more that couples study and read about different topics, on a
daily basis, the more valuable their lives will become.
4) Couples need to form close relationships with others. The
reason for many family disputes lies in separation and seclusion
from others. A husband and wife, who like others are part of the
society, need the support, calm and assurance that come from
others - (e.g., family members, friends, neighbors, etc.). For
this reason it is necessary to have close, active affectionate
and at the same time healthy and well-rooted relationships with
others in order to prevent family disputes. |
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